


Becoming Comfortable with Wanting

by SapphicShayla



Category: The Matrix (Movies)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff and Smut, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Hickeys, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Morpheus loves Neo, Non-binary Switch, Requited Love, found family trope, non-binary Mouse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:01:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28355877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphicShayla/pseuds/SapphicShayla
Summary: “I’m not a homosexual,” Neo lied.Tank tried to stifle his laugh but failed.“God, you’re right,” Neo groaned, burying his face in his hands.“I’m usually correct on most things,” Tank teased.Neo rubbed his face like he was trying to wake from a deep sleep, eyes bloodshot and lips dry. He fell back into the mattress, staring up at the ceiling with little reason. His heart felt heavy in his chest, a solid rock of muscle.“What am I going to do now?” Neo frowned, Tank laying down beside him.“Do what you normally do,” Tank answered. “Just be... Neo, Neo.”
Relationships: Thomas Anderson | Neo/Morpheus
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	Becoming Comfortable with Wanting

Neo loathed how Morpheus made him feel. 

He made Neo’s stomach curl and twist into a bubbling vat of pure heat, his face burnt red with embarrassment. He would wake up from a dream filled with drawn-out kisses and rhythmic, crashing waves of pleasure only to find himself back in his bed, alone. Alone and craving the simple feeling of a body pressed against his. 

That wasn’t hard to find in the matrix. Neo would spend his nights surrounded by freaks just like him when he felt this alone, his body lit up by the throbbing strobe lights above the crowd. He would sneak through the circle of writhing bodies, music drowning out any complaints or second thoughts. They were people just like him, lonely and searching for a feeling of belonging, a feeling of comfort. Once he was deep enough into the crowd he would close his eyes and detach from his body, not caring how cold the club was or how his cheeks stung from the tears. The drugs and bodies around him made it warm, and the music made him forget his loneliness.

Neo couldn’t do that anymore, and it made him furious. He didn’t have anything to take to forget how he shivered when Morpheus’s hand grazed his lower back. Neo couldn’t ignore how his eyes lingered on the other’s broad chest or how his face burned when they were fighting and Morpheus’s panting filled the room, harsh and hot. 

Neo wanted to make him pant like that. Neo wanted to make Morpheus do things— have Morpheus do things to him. He also wanted to hold him close, so close and so tight that they would melt into one beating heart. Till they were both a sea of flesh and teeth. 

Neo never wanted someone this bad or long before, and it scared him. Hookups meant nothing but a few seconds of pleasure away from his loneliness, and Neo had never been lucky enough to know anything different. To know anything of tenderness, gentleness, how it feels to have someone guide him— it would be a gift. 

He wanted Morpheus to guide him, to lead him down the path of intimacy he never got to experience. 

But people can’t get what they want. 

Neo opened his eyes as his body became no more than ones and zeros, music flowing through him. He was back in a club— not a specific one, this was just a simple training simulation after all— and dressed in a mesh top and black pants. He would have laughed if it didn’t feel so familiar. The walls were red-brick, the decor consisting of typical graffiti and posters. The club smelt like sweat and alcohol.

Staring back at him from across the sea of bodies was Morpheus, his glasses sitting comfortably on the bridge of his nose. He was glowing under the red strobe lights. 

“Picking out your target from a crowded room can be difficult if you don’t know what to look for,” He began, Neo hearing his voice clearly despite the thumping rage of the music in the room. “And even once you find them, you must make sure they don’t spot you—Hence the outfits.” 

“You didn’t change,” Neo said, stepping forward only to be blocked by a pair of grinding bodies. 

Morpheus disappeared behind the couple, Neo cursing as he tried to push through. They were packed together like sardines. Neo was unable to pass without a hand or hip brushing against his skin, each touch bringing up repressed memories. It had been months since he felt careless caress of his body by a stranger. A hand glided across his chest, the stranger wearing a smile as he disappeared back into the crowd. 

“Neo,” Morpheus said, a hand suddenly wrapped around Neo’s wrist.

Neo, startled, pulled back, spinning around only to let out a sigh of relief at the sight of him.

“How—“

“If you blend into the crowd, you can navigate it seamlessly,” Morpheus said, eyeing Neo’s outfit. “You’ve been to places like this before?”

“Have to do something to pass the time,” Neo replied, almost chest-to-chest with the other as dancers pushed them closer. “This was the cheapest choice I had in terms of hobbies.”

Morpheus scoffed, not convinced. 

“What do you do?” Neo asked, unable to stop himself from running a hand up Morpheus’s chest, a shiver running down his spine when he felt only muscle. 

“A trained mind doesn’t have to pass time, it uses time to its full potential.”

Neo rolled his eyes, silenced by the sudden presence of a hand on the small of his back. The simple touch of palm to skin made his body go rigid, the sharp inhale of air burning his nostrils. Morpheus tugged him close till they were hip-to-hip, but before Neo could savor the moment of wicked bliss a couple pushed past them, bumbling out a drunk excuse me. Morpheus gave them a soft nod, watching them disappear back into the crowd before letting Neo go. 

“We’re looking for someone out of place,” He began. “Agents have a hard time disappearing in places like this— they tend to stay to the sides and shadows.” 

Neo wished this wasn’t a training simulation. Neo wished he could have this memory of physical closeness be unperverted by data and numbers. He didn’t want to be strung along, but he was too hungry for it to not chase after any lure Morpheus used even if it was fake. There was no chance he couldn’t take, no action he couldn’t overthink. 

“Then why are we in the middle of the crowd?” Neo huffed, almost angry that Morpheus had forced them together like this. 

“Have you been listening?” Morpheus said, shaking his head when Neo only glared back at him. “You can’t allow yourself to be spotted either, you have to disappear in the crowd. The objective is to find him before he finds you. Don’t draw attention to yourself, be liquid in your movements, and never stay still.”

Neo nodded, watching as Morpheus fell back into the crowd, disappearing into just a soft flash of light, bodies of strangers taking up the space he had just inhabited. Neo scoffed, pulled back into the moment as he was sandwiched between two drunk women. One spilt her drink on his shirt with an annoyed huff, the other hitting him in the side with her bag. 

“Oh— sorry,” He managed to spit out as he squirmed away from them and deeper into the crowd, the music drowning out any other sound but his heartbeat.

The heat wasn’t comforting anymore. The air hung moist with sweat, the floor vibrating from the full force of the speakers at the front of the room. This felt too familiar to him now— the loneliness he used to feel was coming back. Everything felt too real. He felt trapped in a memory. 

Neo swallowed back his discomfort and moved closer to the front, the ground disappearing into just sound under him. His skin was warm to the touch but inside he still felt cold. Neo shook his head and squared back his shoulders, forcing himself to the very front of the crowd. He could see the stage and the stacks of speakers, but he was more focused on what he saw in the shadows. Lanky strangers sat in the corners, huddled together only to fall into a mass of skin and lips and hands grabbing everywhere. They moved in sync with each other, hips glued together by mere want. The couple seemed almost oblivious to how visible they were and Neo couldn’t make himself look away. 

He remembered thinking he was invisible in the corner of clubs, invisible to even light’s touch. Is this how he looked to everyone else those nights? Was he as pathetic as the stranger pressed against the wall or even more? Neo remembered how lonely it felt to be in that corner, to be searching for passion in a run-down, barely alive club. Where else could he have gone? His days consisted of paperwork and endless internet surfing and coding, no time for him to make meaningful connections with anyone other than his customers. He remembered how it felt to have a guy buy him a drink, leaving Neo drunk and wallet less in the back of the club. How it felt to cry in the front seat of his car because someone broke into it while he was busy throwing up in a public bathroom. How it felt to get knocked out for the first time.

Neo wiped his eyes and was shocked to find tears, unable to stop the constant flow.

“Fuck,” he sniffled, gritting his teeth. 

He heard a gun cock behind him and the crowd gasp, the sound solidifying his failure to complete the mission. He winced as the beep of a failed simulation rung in his ears, greeted by sudden silence, then bliss background noise. 

He woke with a desperate gasp, inhaling sharply as the cord retracted from his neck. 

“I told you we should have screened him,” Tank said, helping Neo to his feet. “These simulations are busted, anyway, I need time to recode them before you throw people into them.” 

“We don’t have time,” Morpheus replied, earning a glare from Tank. “If he is to catch up with the rest of the crew, he has to run multiple simulations, I can’t guarantee that all of them will be comfortable to train in.” 

“We can fix his body but we can’t fix his brain, Morpheus. You need to remember that.” 

Neo wiped his face clean with his sleeve, shrugging off Morpheus’s attempt to comfort him. 

“You alright?” Tank asked Neo, concerned. 

“I need a minute,” He replied, refusing to look back as he headed towards the door. 

He left in a hurry, his hands shaking as he did his best to get to his room before he started crying again. Once there he slammed the door behind him, sliding down the length of it as he finally let himself erupt. He pulled his knees to his chest, face hot to the touch. Tears did little to cool his skin, scratching down his face with each trickle. 

For once, he appreciated how cold Morpheus kept the ship. The coldness helped dry his face and place him back in reality. He held out his hands in front of him and laughed when they trembled violently, his patheticness nothing but funny to himself.

He used to forget what happened when he spent his nights alone, his mind blank by morning. He doesn’t have that luxury anymore. 

Neo let his head fall back, hitting the door with a soft thump. He closed his eyes and his mind went blank, the loneliness swallowing him up from feet up. It covered every inch of his skin in an oily black, camouflaging him in a growing shadow.

He was pulled back into reality by a soft knock, a sigh exhausting his whole body.

“Give me a second,” Neo called out, groaning as he forced himself onto his feet, unlocking the door with a certain grace.

Tank closed the door behind him as he walked in, hands shoved deep into his cargo pockets. 

“Are you going to be alright?” Tank asked, Neo only shrugging in return. “The simulation wasn’t— it just chooses a place you know really well, I couldn’t control that part. Machine’s busted anyway, I haven’t been able to control the simulations as easily as I used to.” 

“I know,” Neo reassured him. “More upset with myself at the moment.” 

Tank nodded, crossing his arms as he rested against the wall. He stared down at his boots, wiggling his foot to starve off the awkward tension growing in his body.

“Everyone fails the first time through,” Tank started off, choosing his words carefully. “If that makes you feel any better.”

“It does,” Neo sighed. 

Neo was silent for a moment, staring down at the floor.

“I never did drugs for long,” Neo said. “Despite what… what it seemed like. I don’t even like clubs, I kind of hate them. I just went where my customers went, you know? My life was going to shit before I woke up. It was a couple of months that I’m not too proud of.” 

“You don’t have to justify your past, Neo.”

“I know.”

“You don’t have to justify anything to us—” 

“I know.” 

“—not even how you feel about other people, even people on the ship.” 

“What?” Neo interrupted, a blush erupting and engulfing his face.

“I mean that you don’t have to hide any… feelings you may have about— well, you know.”

“No, I don’t know.”

“You’re… a homosexual, right?” Tank said bluntly. “At least the computer thinks so. It shows your vital signs, and blood pressure rises when you’re around people you’re interested in— or scared of, but I don’t think you are scared when we plop you in a room of men.”

Neo felt his body strike cold, throat squeezed tight into a million knots. Tank’s face changed to one of concern, brows furrowed and eyes wide.

“Oh, shit,” Tank cursed, shaking his head. “I’m not confronting you, Neo, I wouldn’t— everyone on this ship is— you know. I’d be more surprised if you weren’t.” 

Neo’s head was spinning, his legs weak and thin under him. He forced himself to sit down, swallowing back his panic as he ran a hand through his hair. Tank sat next to him, patting his back in an attempt to calm Neo down.

“I’m not a homosexual,” Neo lied.

Tank tried to stifle his laugh but failed. 

“God, you’re right,” Neo groaned, burying his face in his hands. 

“I’m usually correct on most things,” Tank teased. 

Neo rubbed his face like he was trying to wake from a deep sleep, eyes bloodshot and lips dry. He fell back into the mattress, staring up at the ceiling with little reason. His heart felt heavy in his chest, a solid rock of muscle. 

“What am I going to do now?” Neo frowned, Tank laying down beside him.

“Do what you normally do,” Tank answered. “Just be... Neo, Neo.”

Neo sighed before nodding in agreement, chewing the inside of his cheek. They didn’t say anything else for a few minutes, both appreciating the shared silence. Neo replayed the conversation over and over in his head, a light flicking on when he finally understood the words that came out of Tank’s mouth.

Everyone on this ship is, you know.

Everyone. 

“Is —“

“Yes,” Tank said, unable to hide his bubbling laugh.

Neo felt his stomach flip and flutter, face heating up like an oven. He sat up quickly, glaring down at Tank.

“How do you know?” 

Tank stared back up at him in disbelief, scoffing. It took him a second to realize Neo was serious. 

“Well,” He began, counting off his fingers. “He makes your breakfast.”

“He does that for Mouse—“

“Oh come on, you know Mouse is too stupid to be trusted with cooking bacon,” Tank snorted. “Anyway, he also lets you shower longer than anyone else on the ship.”

“You don’t get an hour to shower?” Neo asked, face red.

“No. We get 30 minutes, you get an hour.”

“I didn’t know that,” Neo squeaked, heartbeat loud in his ears. “It’s probably because of the whole ‘you’re the one’ thing Morpheus believes in.”

“Sure,” Tank mumbled, rolling his eyes. “Have you ever considered that he would have developed feelings for you after spending all those years looking for you? I mean, you sure did.” 

“Shut up,” Neo groaned, watching as Tank scoffed and hopped out of bed. 

“Are you going to be alright by yourself?”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry,” Neo replied, face still red.

Tank stretched with a yawn, heading towards the door.

“Morpheus feels really bad about what happened, by the way,” He added, looking back at Neo. “So I wouldn’t be surprised if he pays you a visit later.”

Before Neo could say anything else Tank let the door shut behind him, the sound of boots fading into the background.

* * *

It was dark before Morpheus came by to apologize. Neo had almost given into the deep allure of sleep before a knock rang out in the room, hissing as the icy floor stung his feet when he stood. 

He hurried to the door and took a deep breath, cracking it open just a hair. He peaked out, smiling as he met Morpheus’s gaze.

“It’s late,” Neo hummed, Morpheus nodding in agreement.

“If it wasn’t important I would have waited till morning,” Morpheus replied. 

He let Morpheus inside, closing the door quietly behind him. Morpheus glanced around the dimly lit room, admiring the posters and lines of data Neo had managed to print out. 

“Despite all the pain the matrix causes, I must admit that the music is very good,” He said, Neo blushing as he picked up stray dirty clothes he had left on the floor. 

“Sorry about the mess, I wasn’t expecting anyone,” Neo lied, Morpheus waving it off with a shrug. 

“Don’t apologize, my room isn’t much better,” He reassured Neo, taking a moment to admire him as well.

It felt nice and terrifying to be stared at. 

Morpheus’s gaze was heavy on his body, a sudden need to cover up overcoming him. Neo sat on his bed, wrapping his blanket right around his shoulders. 

“I shouldn’t have sent you in without a briefing, Neo,” Morpheus said, voice deep and comforting. “It was a mistake on my part. I’ll make sure it never happens again.” 

“It’s fine,” Neo replied, the other man shaking his head.

“No, I put you in risk today without considering the consequences. Your mind is a precious thing, Neo, and it would serve us both to protect it.” 

“You think my mind is precious?” Neo asked before he could stop himself, face red from embarrassment when Morpheus smiled back at him. 

“I do,” He hummed, standing in front of Neo. 

Neo stared up at the man, mouth dry as he followed down the amulet that hung on Morpheus’s chest, eyes trailing down to his tight abdomen then to his strong thighs. His hands hung down at his hips, his gaze now glued to the small sliver of a happy trail he could see above Morpheus’s sweats. 

“Do you not?” Morpheus asked him, Neo biting his lip and shrugging. 

“My mind isn’t any better than yours,” Neo replied, a chuckle following the tail end of the sentence. “I mean, I learn from you, so you have to be a least a little more experienced than me.”

Neo didn’t mean to use the word experienced but it left his mouth before he could really think about it. Morpheus moved closer, reaching down to cradle Neo’s face. Neo pulled away at first but was comforted by a soft ‘hey,’ Neo’s face aflame in Morpheus’s palm. His thumb stroked Neo’s cheekbone tenderly, and that sent a shiver down the man’s spine. 

“What do I know that you don’t?” Morpheus whispered, forcing Neo to meet his gaze with a gentle tilt of the other’s chin. “Tell me, I’ll teach you everything you don’t know.” 

Neo was struck silent for a moment, tongue swollen from the need to be in the other’s mouth. He hesitated, gripping the blanket around him. 

“You believe so hard, Morpheus,” Neo said. “I don’t know how you give your whole being to a belief. How—why are you not scared of believing after everything that’s happened?”

Morpheus smiled, the gap in his teeth making Neo’s heart flutter. 

“There is nothing else to give myself to except your success, Neo,” He answered, serious. “When I get nervous, I just look at you, and you never disappoint. You are the only reason I give myself to this cause. I spent my whole free life trying to find you, and now that I have you, I can watch my blood and sweat come to fruition. I'm watching a flower I’ve planted bloom after years of winters.”

Neo felt a weight of responsibility fall on top of his shoulders, a sudden need to do good filling his stomach till it stretched as far as it could. He wanted to do better, be better. He had never felt that before. 

“I want to do good,” Neo admitted, noting the way the word caught Morpheus’s attention fully. “Be good. Or at least better than the worst.”

“What makes you think you are not already better than them?” 

“I don’t know how to be good, Morpheus, I only know how to exist. How can I know if I’m good if no one ever taught me?” 

“I can teach you.”

That made Neo’s whole mind light up in a million colors that bled out of his ears, the air physically punched out of him with the suggestiveness of Morpheus’s response. Morpheus wiped his thumb over Neo’s bottom lip, Neo letting out a sweet gasp in response. 

“I can teach you, Neo,” Morpheus repeated, voice heavy and eyes glued to the other’s lips. “I’ll teach you everything, I promise.”

Neo’s throat went dry, eyes darting from Morpheus’s gaze to the happy trail that peeked out of his sweats. The room was spinning but Neo felt grounded with Morpheus’s gaze on him, hesitating before reaching up to guide the other’s hand from his cheek down the length of his neck, both men holding their breath.

Morpheus’s hand traveled down the other’s chest as Neo fell back onto the mattress, his following sigh pulling Morpheus down with him. The full weight of the other man pressed against him made Neo whine, Morpheus’s lips meeting his with a calming hum. Neo hadn’t felt a real body against his in months, skin electric as the other man’s hands stroked his sides. Neo couldn’t resist running his hands down Morpheus’s back as he deepened the kiss, embracing the body above him. The warmth radiating from Morpheus’s chest made Neo’s head dizzy. 

Neo never knew what to do with his lips when he kissed but something in him seemed to have taken over, both of them crashing in rhythm like waves hitting the shore. Neo really really wished he had put on chapstick before because Morpheus’s lips felt soft compared to his own, but the other man didn’t seem to mind. As the kiss deepened Neo groaned into it, Morpheus’s hand moving up to cradle his face. Neo couldn’t help how intensely he wants to be swallowed up in Morpheus’s embrace, hips against hips and hands where they shouldn’t be. 

His thumb stroked Neo’s cheek as his lips moved down to his pale neck, Morpheus peppering kisses across his jawline before latching on to a sensitive spot of skin that made Neo whine in return. Morpheus’s mouth made Neo’s skin buzz, his hips jolting up at the sensation of lips and teeth and tongue against his neck. His thighs couldn’t close any tighter with Morpheus wedged between them, a match lighting in Neo’s stomach as their sweats dragged against the other, friction sparking. 

Neo’s hands ran up Morpheus’s back, gripping his shirt tight, fingers red. He was staring up at the ceiling but his mind was so fogged with need that his vision was useless to him, a loud moan pushing past his teeth as Morpheus slowly licked up the length of his neck. 

“Wait,” Neo whispered, Morpheus pulling back to give him as much space as he could without moving too far.

Neo took a moment to catch his breath, his skin red from his face all the way down to his chest with blush. Morpheus’s free hand stroked the outside of his thigh, waiting patiently for Neo to start talking again. He didn’t look upset or bored by the pause in action, instead he just looked… relaxed. As if Neo’s presence was all he wanted. 

“The silence is going to make me lose my mind,” Neo said, rubbing Morpheus’s back softly. “I need— I want some music on, if that isn’t too much to ask.” 

Morpheus nodded and stood back up, the vanishing body warmth causing both of them to shiver. He stretched with a groan, Neo’s eyes soaking up the whole of his physique. Neo watched as Morpheus fiddled with the cassette player and tapes, taking the time to reposition himself so his head rested against the pillows. 

“Anything specific?” Morpheus asked, smiling back at Neo who shook his head in response.

Neo was too out of it to care what music the other chose, he just needed something to drown out the silence. He sighed as Morpheus popped in a tape, a mix of drums and guitars and a signature 90s whiny voice filling the room. Morpheus turned back towards him, his sweats riding low on his hips, the outline of his cock strong against the fabric, burning a hole into Neo’s memory. He looked up to meet Morpheus’s heavy gaze, quickly glancing away out of embarrassment. 

“Do you want to stop?” Morpheus asked, voice soft and caring as he sat on the edge of the mattress. 

“No,” Neo replied, reaching out to take the other’s hand gently. “Just… haven’t had anyone touch me like that in a long time.”

Morpheus squeezed the man’s hand in reassurance, his other hand resting on Neo’s thigh. 

“I don’t want to do anything you don’t want,” Morpheus whispered, voice rumbling in the back of his throat.

“I know, Morpheus,” Neo hummed, watching as the other man started to stroked his thigh with little hesitation. 

“Show me how you want me to touch you.”

That sent a jolt of pleasure down Neo’s spine, his cock straining against both the fabric of his boxers and the fabric of his sweats. Morpheus hadn’t done anything differently than how a random hook up would have done, but it was the fact that he cared that made all the difference to Neo. He had wanted sex before, but he had never needed someone like he did now. Never yearned this badly to be under another person. 

Neo reached down and covered Morpheus’s hand, slowly guiding it up the length of his thigh. His thighs parted at the touch, Morpheus’s hand moving inward. The drag of his fingers made Neo bite his lip, groaning as he cupped Morpheus’s hand over his groin. Morpheus took the initiative to palm at Neo’s cock, shushing the other as he slid into bed beside him. Neo bucked up against his hand, staring deep into Morpheus’s eyes as he searched for a sense of longing in the other. He wasn’t disappointed with what he saw, a deep yearning pouring out from Morpheus as he leaned down and kissed Neo. 

Neo was finally able to think with the background noise chasing away the terror of silence, but that didn’t mean his thoughts resemble any coherent train. One moment he was focused on how gently Morpheus treated him, how it almost made him cry with how sweetly he was being handled. Another moment he wanted Morpheus to slam him against the bedroom wall and leave bruises on his hips and neck and thighs, hips grinding up into his hand with need. 

“Neo,” Morpheus hummed, catching him in another messy kiss before pulling away to watch the man squirm under his touch. “Can I—“

“Yeah, yeah,” Neo interjected, both of them sharing a laugh a moment after. “Touch me wherever you want, you don’t have to ask.”

“I like asking,” Morpheus, spitting in his hand before it disappeared under the waistband of Neo’s sweats. “You sound pretty when you tell me I can touch you like this.”

Neo moaned as Morpheus’s hand trailed down his happy trail and wrapped around the base of his cock, stroking up the length slowly. The sight of a hand moving up and down under his sweats was obscene, dirty, and really hot. The man’s grip was wet and torturous, the pleasure condensed deep in his thighs and abdomen like a bruise. Neo threw his head back with a soft gasp as Morpheus started to kiss his neck again, thighs slamming shut as the man brushed the tip of his cock with the pad of his thumb. 

“Fuck,” Neo breathed out, brows furrowed as he grind against Morpheus’s fist. “I— take my sweats off, please.”

Morpheus nodded and gave Neo’s jawline a soft peck before letting go of his cock, shushing the man as he moved between his thighs. He tugged the other’s sweats down with care, smiling as they got stuck around Neo’s ankles before taking them off completely. Neo shuttered at the cold air that attacked his now bare thighs, his cock straining against his boxers. Morpheus sat back on his knees for a moment, pulling off his own shirt with ease and wiggling out of his sweats. Neo drank up the sight of Morpheus’s broad chest, reaching out to run his hand down the other’s tight abdomen.

“You’re an Adonis,” Neo murmured, smiling as the other man laughed. “I’m serious— you look like you’re made of stone…” 

Morpheus blushed, humming as Neo’s fingers traced down the length of his happy trail. 

“I could say the same for you, Neo,” He whispered, sighing as Neo’s hand grazed the front of his groin. “You’re quick on your feet— scrappy.” 

“Fuck off,” Neo snorted, squeezing Morpheus’s cock through his boxers.

Morpheus chuckled, placing a steady hand on Neo’s chest before giving him a firm push back. Neo fell back against the mattress hard in submission, face burnt red. He had always hated how easily his face reddened, the worse offenders being alcohol and sex, but he enjoyed knowing Morpheus could see the effect he had on him. Morpheus leaned down, pulling Neo into another kiss. Neo wrapped his legs around the man’s waist, trapping him to a continuous grind of their hips against one another. Neo heard Morpheus moan as his hands explored the other’s back, his skin begging to be scratched up.

Morpheus reached down between them and pulled Neo’s cock over the waistband of his boxers, watching the other as he stroked up the length of it. Neo whined, tilting his head to the side so Morpheus could have full access to his neck. Neo would give Morpheus permission to do anything to his body if it meant getting to be close to him like this again. Creating heat.

“Oh,” He gasped as Morpheus nipped at the point where his jaw met his neck, skin tingling as it was marked up with bruises. 

Morpheus took his time leaving purple marks down Neo’s throat, his free hand buried in the other’s hair. He tilted Neo’s head farther with a soft tug at his black locks, kissing his jaw and neck and collarbone. Neo knew he would regret getting marked up in the morning, but he felt so safe under Morpheus’s touch that he didn’t want any of it to end. 

He wondered how the others would react in the morning, when they saw his neck— he knew Tank wouldn’t say anything in front of the others, maybe send a knowing wink Neo’s way. Trinity and Switch would either stay silent or tease him relentlessly, and Neo knew that Mouse would definitely bring it up. Neo… didn’t care, anymore, about what other people could think of him after this. He was just focused on the man on top of him. Morpheus’s skin was soft under Neo’s hands, his fingers gliding over sculpted shoulder blades. 

They clashed together into a messy kiss, Neo happily slipping his tongue passed Morpheus’s lips. He groaned in response, squeezing Neo’s cock before speeding up his pace slightly. The pleasure was concentrated deep in Neo’s abdomen but it branched down his thighs and all the way up his chest, a beating heart with thousands of veins pumping red hot desire through his body. Neo couldn’t help but grind up into Morpheus’s fist, embarrassment filling him as his hips refused to stay still. It had been too long since someone touched him like that.

“Fuck— Morpheus,” Neo moaned, capturing the other in another wet kiss before letting his head hit the pillows behind him. “I care about you, I hope you know that.” 

“Neo, Neo,” Morpheus whispered, his forehead pressed against the other’s, voice suddenly weak. “I’ve dedicated my whole being to you, only you. Nothing else— I have nothing but affection for you.”

“I know,” Neo murmured, slithering his hand down Morpheus’s chest and stomach, his fingers hooking in the waistband of his boxers before tugging him closer. “You’re sweet, Morpheus. Too good for me, but you still stick around.”

“I’ll always be here with you,” Morpheus replied, groaning as Neo pulled his cock out from his boxers. “I promise.” 

“I love you,” Neo said with confidence, smiling as Morpheus pulled him into a gentle kiss. 

Neo’s hand stroked up and down the length of Morpheus’s cock before pulling away, reaching for his nightstand. He tugged open a drawer as Morpheus took the moment to shimmy Neo’s boxer’s down his hips, Neo shivering as the cold air stung his skin. He took out a small bottle of lube and handed it to Morpheus, face red. 

“Do you want me to...?” Morpheus asked, running a soft hand up and down Neo’s tight abdomen.

Neo bit his lip, taking a moment to catch his breath and think. God, he hadn’t had sex in months, but despite the ache, he didn’t feel ready . He didn’t feel confident enough to have someone inside him, definitely not someone he loved. It would feel like he was cheated out of the planned and heterosexual act of waiting, of not having to have every interaction of love be rushed and short. He wanted, craved to have the ability to wait. 

“I— I can’t,” Neo began, Morpheus listening closely. “I’m sorry, next time, I promise.”

“You don’t have to apologize, Neo,” Morpheus hummed, leaning down to press a kiss against his cheek. “I’m fine just doing this for however long you need.” 

Neo let out a sigh of relief, smiling as Morpheus moved to lay down next to him. Neo crawled on top of the man, straddling his hips before pulling the blanket over their heads. Morpheus hummed as everything became dim and languid, running his hands up Neo’s thighs before popping open the cap to the lube. He took the time to warm it up between his palms, humming. 

“After this,” Morpheus whispered, slowly wrapping his hand around the base of both of their cocks, groaning as he slid his lubed fist up and down. “We can sleep in my room, if you’d like. It’s warmer than the rest of the ship.” 

“I knew it,” Neo teased, a soft string of moans leaving him as Morpheus’s thumb swiped over the tip of both of their cocks. 

Morpheus chuckled, leaning up to capture Neo in a kiss before returning to his neck. The wet grip Morpheus had on both of them made Neo keen, the feeling of their cocks sliding together absolutely filthy. Neo can’t help but try and imagine what Morpheus saw in that moment, only because what Neo saw made him dizzy. Morpheus under him, chest bronze and dusted with dark hair, his whole presence open and inviting. 

Neo leaned down and pulled the man into another messy kiss, his hands running freely up his chest, admiring the pure muscle he felt under his palms. The ball of heat that sat heavy in Neo’s stomach only grew hotter, thighs trapping Morpheus’s hips in a death grip as their lips clashed together again. God, he couldn’t even remember the last time he made this much noise ever. Neo prides himself on being the silent type, unbreakable, unphased. Of course he’s anything but that. He would scream into his pillow after a long day of being quiet, hysterical from the weight that comes with silence. 

But now he can’t seem to shut up. He’s buzzing with energy, unable to stop the whines Morpheus wrung out of him. Morpheus’s hand sped up, hips bucking up into his own fist instinctively, Neo groaning as he shamelessly rocked down against the other’s cock. He couldn’t help it as he thrusted into Morpheus’s grip in short succession, face buried in the other’s neck to avoid the embarrassment that followed. Morpheus’s free hand ran up Neo’s back and stopped to pet the top of his head, brushing through his hair gently. Neo moaned loud as the pleasure twisted and burned in him, his mouth latching onto Morpheus’s neck, breath hot against his skin.

He wished that he still didn’t have his ragged band shirt on, the fabric acting as a barrier between Neo’s and Morpheus’s chests. He wanted to feel Morpheus’s heartbeat against his, their bodies sweaty and gross and uncomfortable and absolutely intoxicating in every way. But he was too far gone to risk delaying any pleasure to undress any more. Each stroke up ripped air from his lungs; and each stroke down twisted his stomach in the best way. It felt like pure hell.

“Neo,” Morpheus hummed, a soft groan following out with it. “Don’t hide from me.” 

Morpheus tugged gently on a fistful of Neo’s hair, removing him from the safe space that was the crook of the other’s neck. Neo whined in slight aggravation, expression dazed as he stared down at the other man, gaze lazy. 

“You don’t want to watch,” Neo teased, kissing Morpheus before he could interrupt. 

Morpheus pinched Neo’s cheek before he sped up his aching hand once more, watching as the other man writhed in his lap. 

“You look pretty like this,” Morpheus whispered, grinning as Neo gasped in pleasure at the uptake in speed. “Sound pretty, too.” 

“Fuck you,” Neo whined before snatching Morpheus in another kiss, white hot pressure building up fast in his abdomen. “... don’t stop, please.” 

“I wasn’t planning on it,” Morpheus hummed, voice dripping as his own ending came into view. 

Neo tried to retreat to the safe haven of Morpheus’s neck as a whine was ripped out of him, Morpheus’s grip on his nape keeping him in place. He shushed Neo, watching his face intently as he fisted their cocks. Neo closed his eyes and allowed himself to relax as he felt the crescendo of pleasure approaching, focusing on how the other’s hand felt wrapped around both of them. Morpheus leaned forward and kissed his forehead, his breathing just as heavy as Neo’s. 

Neo’s hand snaked between them and wrapped around both of their cocks, Morpheus’s hand sitting just under his. A whine left him as he ran his thumb over the tip of their cocks, his grip tight as he settled into an unforgiving pace. Neo let his eyes fall close as he focused on the heat between them. It wasn’t unfamiliar, the feeling not unlike when they sparred in the gym. Sweat rolling down their skin as they moved like water around the room, grunts and groans ripped out of them. 

Morpheus groaned out a pretty sound that sent shivers down the other man’s spine, the pressure building in his abdomen finally breaking as he spilt over his fist and Morpheus’s navel. Neo sighed as his hips bucked in the aftermath, a blanket of warmth and striking fuzziness wrapping him up. Despite the need to collapse in Morpheus’s arms tugging hard on him, Neo sat up best he could, watching Morpheus’s face as he stroked up the length of his cock. 

Neo’s pace wasn’t gentle like the other’s, but Morpheus didn’t seem to mind. He was close enough that if Neo didn’t keep up the speed he would have died.

Neo rested his forehead against Morpheus’s as he worked, the wet sound of his fist brandishing both of them with blush. He watched Morpheus’s face, and if he wasn’t so close to breaking Neo knew that Morpheus would have called him a hypocrite for wanting to watch him unfold. But now, all he had to say was Neo’s name over and over, a mantra packed tight with groans and gasps for air.

“If we had the time,” Neo began, smiling as he knew he had caught the other’s attention. “I would do… Jesus, I would do so much to you. Next time, I promise.” 

Morpheus smiled, leaning up to kiss Neo in earnest. His grip in Neo’s hand tightened as his hips bucked up, a groan leaving him as he spilt over Neo’s grip. He cursed as Neo stroked him through his orgasm, the air around them humid and sticky.

Morpheus pushed Neo’s hand away once sensitivity got the best of him, tugging the man down to wrap him in an embrace. Neo threw back the sheet just enough for their heads to poke out, the smell of sex overwhelming when it’s trapped in such a small space. He wouldn’t be surprised if people could smell it from outside his room; the airflow on the ship was laughable. Neo tugged off his shirt and wiped away the mess on Morpheus’s stomach, grimacing as he threw it in the direction of his laundry basket, missing by an inch.

Morpheus smiled, his hands moving down to caress Neo’s thighs as he kissed him. Neo hummed into the kiss, shivering as the sheet fell from his shoulders and gathered around his waist. He reached over and turned off the radio, the music now just a mere annoyance. 

“You said your room was warmer?” Neo yawned, leaning down to pick up Morpheus’s shirt. 

“Might have,” Morpheus replied, helping Neo off of his lap before standing. “If you don’t want to be seen leaving my room, you’ll have to wake up early before I start breakfast.”

“Morpheus,” Neo said, slipping on the other man’s shirt with ease. 

He pulled on his sweats before turning to look at Neo, taking in the image of the other in his shirt. Neo smiled back at him as he hopped out of bed, stepping into his own boxers before running his hands up Morpheus’s chest. 

“I figured—“

“I couldn’t do that to you,” Neo whispered, hurt that it was even a suggestion. “After everything you’ve done for me.” 

Morpheus stared down at him, relieved. Neo saw the stress leave his body, his shoulders relaxing and his heartbeat slowing under Neo’s palm. 

“I love you,” Neo breathed out, his free hand cradling Morpheus’s face. “Don’t tell me you can believe in anything but the idea of me wanting you.” 

Morpheus stayed silent, but he leaned down and pressed a kiss to the corner of Neo’s lips, his fingers raking through black locks. They stayed like that for a moment, despite the freezing floor and sleep tugging on them both, simply enjoying the other’s company.

* * *

“Did you get punched in the neck?”

Tank huffed and smacked Mouse in the back of the head, Mouse cursing as they turned to glare back at the man. Neo smiled, rubbing his marked neck.

“Mouse, do you get punched in the neck often?” Trinity chided, seated next to Neo at the breakfast table. 

“I punch them all the time,” Switch said, laughing as they reached over Tank and patted Mouse on their cheek.

Mouse whined, pushing Switch away with a grumble. Tank smiled as he glanced at Neo, his eyes drifting down to the other’s neck. He was quick to look away, stuffing his mouth with waffles and syrup. Switch was openly staring at Neo’s neck, unapologetically curious. 

“You gave those to yourself?” Switch teased, Trinity letting out a snort despite her best efforts. 

“I’m complimented you think so highly of my flexibility,” Neo replied, running a hand through his black locks. “I’m surprised no one has brought up the shirt yet.” 

“In all fairness, I noticed immediately,” Trinity said, giving the man a playful nudge. 

Neo was cozy in Morpheus’s shirt, the fabric still smelling of the other. The group ate in silence for a moment before Morpheus approached the table, two plates of bacon in hand. He set them down in front of Neo and Mouse, a calm look painted on his face. Neo scooted over, Morpheus sitting down next to him with ease and familiarity. It was as if he had always sat there— which he had, but it felt different this morning. 

“So are we not going to bring up how they’re fucking now?” Mouse blurted out, their mouth faster than their brain. 

Tank jabbed them in the side, smiling as Mouse pushed him back. 

“I agree with the child,” Switch hummed, snickering as Mouse glared back at them. “We should discuss this over breakfast gin.” 

“It’s 6 a.m., we’re not drinking,” Trinity said. 

“Agreed, no alcohol before training,” Morpheus added, watching as Neo started to eat. 

Switch groaned, rolling their eyes as they shoved a piece of waffle in their mouth again. 

“I want details,” Mouse said, continuing before Tank could stop them. “Sex always makes breakfast better. That’s why I’m a staunch believer in morning masturbation—“

“Mouse,” Trinity stopped them, shoving the plate of bacon closer to them. “Eat your bacon, please.” 

Neo blushed, playing with his food as he allowed himself to float away from the current conversation as it started to drift to a different topic. He glanced over at Morpheus’s hand, studying the intricacies of it. He wanted to hold the other’s hand tight, lacing fingers together. 

So he did, and it felt nice to do. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I originally wrote this for a friend, however I wanted to share this fic because there is a sad lack of Neo/Morpheus fics. I’ve only seen the first Matrix and refuse to watch the others (mostly because I don’t want to see Neo be forced to be straight for another 80 minutes) but I tried my best to stay somewhat true to canon. I gave Neo a past addiction because I believe his character is one that would easily fall into an addiction especially since it was the late 90s and he was involved in the club scene, and I have a personal knowledge of addiction so I did my best to approach the topic appropriately. Any comments and/or kudos is welcomed and appreciated, I really hope people enjoy this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it!


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